I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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