roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
