I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
