First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize