hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
