it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
