I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
