Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
foreskin is a definite game changer
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
