I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
