So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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