Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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