you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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