What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
In America we eat man semen.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
