In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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