clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Blood and glitter go together right?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You pole danced in your parka.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
