i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
