That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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