oh god the rape fog is back!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
