4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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