uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
