I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
