You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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