i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
