I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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