First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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