sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
