Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
