I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
