did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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