New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize