Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
