honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
