We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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