he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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