I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
