i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize