He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
why do cheetos always look like penises
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize