Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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