THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
