Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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