So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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