i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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