i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
