What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
