booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she peed on how many people?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
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