I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
