i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
