I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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