i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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