I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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