After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
