i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize