Where is the hickey?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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