It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
