Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize