WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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