We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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