I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
